Happy Sunday!
I can't count the number of times when, in the midst of some type of minor disagreement or my own asking D about something She's simply looked at me and said "Rules are Rules." Rarely did those three words not put an immediate end to our discussion.
Successful Female Led Relationships probably have several hard and fast rules. Ours certainly does. Though Diane has allowed me some rare exceptions, the rules have benefited us in many, many ways.
Here's a short and interesting article by Mistress Raven that you might enjoy. Mistress Raven's thoughts can be found on Medium, where her column "Exploring Sensual Psyche" appears.
I've highlighted a few items that stuck out to me, reminding me of some of the things that D expects.
Female-Led Relationship Rules
Every relationship has rules or requirements that are in place for one or both parties to feel secure or satisfied by the other person’s efforts.
Here are some rules I think are enjoyable for both parties because they end in a playful reward or a deepened connection.
Respect In All Forms
Respect is a dealbreaker. Address her correctly, never use words like “bro” or even, “girl”. The use of manners, etiquette, and any kind of consideration are especially noticed by women. Certain topics should be avoided as well. Learning her annoyances is just as beneficial as knowing her preferences.
Check-Ins
Text, verbal, and photo check-ins are quite normal and can be fun. It’s important to greet her and acknowledge each other every day. Although it’s something light-hearted, it can cause resentment when neglected.
Anticipate Her Wishes
This one is a little self-explanatory. You should strive to know your partner well enough to anticipate or be proactive about doing things that will show your effort, passion, and compassion.
Tasks
She could give you a small task or a big one. Either way this is a call to action and a call of love. Most of the time men miss this opportunity for intimacy and mistake it as an act of power dominance. What she really wants to do is reward you. First you have to complete her task, the amount of enthusiasm you show will ultimately determine what will happen next.
Public Behavior and Permissions
This is unique to every couple. However in most FLR it is obvious to the outside perspective that the female is treated with high favor by the man. She is often seen physically leading or being waited on. Permissions and levels of leadership from both partners in decision-making varies for everyone. There should also be an element of “Yes”, or “Yes and” — be willing to comply and adapt to her requests.
Leadership
Levels of leadership change with every person and can change over time. Naturally, your partner will expect you to follow and complete tasks, wishes, and desires. So qualities like leadership, strategic thinking, and problem-solving skills are very important. Being submissive doesn’t mean sitting back and being “thoughtless”.
Mistakes and Punishments
Failure to adhere to her rules or requests should not be taken lightly. As discussed in the beginning, these are things that are needed to let the connection thrive. There should be a clear understanding of a mistake and punishment versus playful disobedience within a sexual time and space. Showing disinterest or inability to set aside your own interests or needs equates to the failure of the female-led relationship. The act of putting her above yourself is the essence of submission.
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Mistakes and Punishments is an important section. We have certain protocols in place that stress this. Failure to follow the rules and to meet expectations should result in some form of discipline.
Mistakes aren't always a clear cut violation of our rules/contract. Sometimes there is just some subtle
faux-pas' that require attention, maybe a compilation of things that might just require an attitude adjustment...
Love,
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