Many years ago, I was the one who initiated the discussion of chastity in our relationship. Diane was open to it and the experiment began. There were a few failed attempts to make it work. During those trial periods, in order to get used to the feel and discomfort of the cage, I was given the freedom to "self lock" and release myself when it became too uncomfortable. Diane grew impatient with me and my whining and the whole idea was shelved until I was given a "last chance" in late 2014.
We officially began my "lock up" at midnight on 1/1/2015 and we are still going strong. Fortunately, I have a loving and controlling keyholder. Many people aren't as fortunate, or at least that's the way that I see it.
But the fact is that most men who give chastity a try don't have a keyholder. Perhaps many wish they had one, but there are probably some who are just find without one.
I found an interesting article on Medium on the subject. I think you'll find it interesting.
Why the Cage Works — Even Solo
You don’t need a Master to feel mastered.
Some of us wear the cage for:
- Discipline & Focus
The days stretch differently when you’re denied. I write more. I scroll less. I show up cleaner in my work — and sharper in my flirtations. - Erotic Tension Without Release
The cage doesn’t kill desire. It concentrates it. A stranger’s cologne on the street? Devastating. A hot barista? Earth-shattering. You feel everything. - A Different Kind of Masculinity
Not every man needs to fuck everything that moves. Some of us find power in waiting. In choosing to ache instead of act. - The Ritual of Restraint
For me, locking up after Key West felt ceremonial. Vacation was over. Playtime done. Click. Time to focus.
I felt grounded. Balanced. In control of something primal.
Who Has the Key?
- Sometimes me.
- Sometimes an app.
- Sometimes I give it to a friend and say, “Don’t give it back until I finish this creative project.”
- Sometimes it goes into a timed lockbox — no cheating, no shortcuts.
- And sometimes? I’ll lock up while I’m out of town and mail the key back home to myself. (A little delayed gratification, courtesy of the postal service.)
But lately?
No one.
And there’s a strange, electric freedom in that.
You realize you don’t need someone else to tell you “no.”
You can do that yourself. And when you do, it hits different.
This is about choosing to want. Choosing to withhold.
Choosing to feel that hungry, sexy tension throb through you with every step.
Try It. Or At Least Think About It.
If you’ve ever hovered over a product listing with curiosity…
If the idea of not being able to touch yourself makes you twitch in the best way…
If you’ve ever whispered “what if…” just once…
This is your sign.
Try it.
Lock it up.
Keep the key — or toss it.
And see who you become when your pleasure isn’t the prize — it’s the pressure.
You might find yourself walking taller.
Thinking clearer.
And feeling something you haven’t felt in years:
Aroused. Alive. A little dangerous.
